A Letter to The Director

To,

The Director

Slumdog Millionare

Dear Mr. Director,

At the outset I would take this opportunity to congratulate you on your commendable ‘British’ flick that as brought laurels to my homeland, India. I understand that the glimmer of this little known Indian wouldn’t mean much to a pole star, and this is coming pretty late, but still I write this on with a hope that this unnoticed shine might be able to make up for a noticeable darkness.

I believe that the movie needs no introduction in here as almost every Indian has seen it at least once. I, myself, have seen it three times. Not because I was truly deeply madly in love with it, but for the reason that I loved the way the ideas were presented, and more of I hunted on for that rocket fire in the movie which boomed it to the Oscars, where a movie like ‘Taarey Zameen Par’ couldn’t leave a mark. Kudos to you Sir, you’ve made it through.

I remember a common saying, ‘When you feel that people are trying to pull you down, or saying bad things about you, you can be sure that you’re at the top’. So, when you’re already at the top, I should drop my disguise and be one of those people trying to pull down. No grudges, no hard feelings, I’ll just be sharing some of my personal experiences.

The pages of Economic Times are the witness to the development of India not only on the economic front but also on the technological front. For all of us who think that India's contribution to world inventions and technological strides stopped after zero, here is an insight into how untrue that is. Right from inventing the Pentium chip for computers to designing state-of-the-art speakers or creating special effects, Indians have been in the lead. IT sector has given India the courage to stand eye in eye to any of the nations who boast about being the top notch on development front. There are 3.22 Million Indians in America. 38% of Doctors in America are Indians. 12% of Scientists in America are Indians. 36% of NASA employees are Indians. 34% of MICROSOFT employees are Indians 28% of IBM employees are Indians 17% of INTEL employees are Indians 13% of XEROX employees are Indians.

India is the 7th nuclear power in the world
India is the 5th largest economy in the world
India is the largest democracy in the world
India is the 4th nation in the world to have developed/or developing a nuclear submarine
India is the 5th nation in the world to be in the multi billion dollar space commerce business.
India is the 4th nation in the world to develop (or nearly to) ICBM's(can travel up to 14,000km)
India is the 3rd nation in the world, to be able to develop land based and sea based cruise missiles.

For more information, this link can be helpful

http://www.sciforums.com/INDIA-s-contributions-to-the-world-t-4567.html

If such is the poise of India, then why does a stranger in this foreign land stares into my golden frame thinking that I’m one of those Jamal’s from the slums who’s made it to “Who wants to be a Millionare?” Of course millions of us have made it to the millionaire mark, and there is no denial to the fact that millions are still under the poverty line, but no Indian was born having a sun bath, sitting comfortably on a Hot seat laid down for him at the hilltop. We have climbed ourselves and reached there. Why, out of all the things in this world, the stranger starts the conversation with, ‘Hey you’re from India, I’ve seen the Indian movie that made it to the Oscars.’ Yes I’m Indian and I’m proud of being one. But as and when the mention of the movie comes up I’m that one Indian who has to save the dignity of his motherland in eyes of a foreigner. The conversation follows...

“Ma’am India is not what’s shown in the movie. India is one of the fastest growing world’s economies, next only to China. The Indian IT sector forms the 85% of the world’s IT (I’m still an alien to the exact figure. That was just boasting)”

“Yes I know”, the stranger then recalls some lines he’d read in her 10^th class history book. “The outsourcing has brought that to India because of cheap labor”

“Oh No! It’s because Indians have the right attitude and aptitude to tackle the challenges of the IT industry. Not everyone can sit in front of a PC all day long going through the loops of ‘if-then-else’s’ ‘for’s’ and ‘while’s’”

The station comes and the conversation ends. But the things are not over. Another day, another foreigner comes up saying that he’s never visited India just because he’s ‘heard’ that India is unclean and a homeland of diseases. First thing, please don’t blame something you have not seen and just heard of. It’s your brain that controls your senses and not the other way round. Think buddy! Secondly, I think its time to narrate you a bed time story.

Once a man saw a huge elephant, one of whose legs was tied to a small, weak chain. No wonder the elephant could easily break the chain and run from the captivity. But, he didn’t. He asked the caretaker for the reason, and he replied. “Sir, when this elephant was young, he was tied to the same chain. At that point of time, he was weak to break the chain and couldn’t do it. He has grown up with the same mindset that he cannot break the chain, so now, he doesn’t even try.” Hope you get the point sir.

And third and most important thing Mr. Scared Foreigner. Learn to take care of yourselves. You’re no longer a little kid.

Dear Mr. Director, I won’t blame you for any of the above incidents. In fact, we ourselves are to be blamed for the reason that we’ve chosen to be a helpless Jamal sitting in the loo, staring at the superstar out of a peek hole in a closed door. And we’ve clutched our nose to jump into the shit hole just for a whiff of that superstar.

But still, I wish that you’d have taken some time out to see the other side of the Indian coin too where the four Lions stand growling at whoever raises an eye on its motherland. Trust me Sir; they can tear the world apart.

I’m on lookout for elephants now. But the problem is that there were millions of them already and your movie has incubated a million more. All tied to the petty chain and not trying to break open. I wonder how many, I alone, will be able to tell that “Dude! You’re Big. Open your eyes. Break Free!” I fear an ant that might bite an enlightened elephant and leave him dead. I fancy to someone like your highness who could liberate them amass.

Wish best regards

An Indian

Disclaimer: Facts and figures mentioned in here are the best of my shallow knowledge. Reader is suggested to crosscheck with the exact figures.

To be continued... Letter to the Prime Minister

Goooooodd Moorrrrrrninnggggg Mumbaiiiiiii…..

Do u remember the smile of Vidya Balan as she wished Mumbai Good Morning???

Who doesn’t!!!! See how she’s smiling….

Ok this blog isn’t about Vidya Balan… Nah Isn’t abt Munna Bhai either and nor abt Smile and its value to a human being… nah nah…. This blog is all about yippieeeeeeeeee….. :) MUMBAI…. I’m cominggggg…. :)

Hazaron Khwahishein aisi ke Har Khwahish pe Damm Nikle, Bohat Nikle Mere Armaan lekin fir bhi kamm nikle…

It was 2 am at night when me Suneet and Tarun were sitting with eyes wide open in bedroom of latter, watching a movie on lappy. Before you get any filthy ideas I should mention that the movie we were watching at 2 am in the morning, it was our movie. Ok! by OUR I mean that the movie we were making…. the story of which started just 32 hours before this bedroom conference…

Failing to recall the date I’ll start with the late in evening of Aranya’07 when I saw some great minds sitting idle in the lawns of F – Block. Sorry it was ideal minds sitting great… They were thinking abt script for a movie when the blogger hopped popped in to sit idle among the great minds. I really can’t forget the wonderful sight of 8-10 people raring to start with the movie making. But, there was no script!!!!

Lights Camera Action!

Here’s the script for the movie…. The idea adapted late. But it worked… :) I’ll quickly go through some of the events after the script was finalized.

2 Hours Later… we’re at my place searching for a ‘diya’ in a corner where I’ve always hesitated to step into fearing some mice and lizards. But there were none this time to my pleasure. Neither the mice, nor lizards and nor the diya :|

2 and a half hours later… Munching Lays, we started shooting the first scene of the movie in a dimly lighted room, and then a hand comes in to light the candle, with a lady sitting on the table…. Ok.. No filthy ideas please.

4 hours gone. Satisfied :) We certainly have great actors in our team…. (Readers who know the hidden secrets are ‘requested’ to keep their MOUTH SHUT)

4 and a half hours gone… no progress with the movie. I guess it was some rock show in college which we went to attend…

6 hours gone. 2 am we’re trying to sleep (separately at our places). When an idea strikes. (An idea can change your wife…. errr…. Life)

“Hello… Hi tarun, can we go to some school tomorrow if we can request to shoot the infant and school going stage of the baby girl”

“That should be great”

“Ok ask Suneet, Swati etc. if they have any contacts where we could be let to shoot the kids” (please don’t take it literally)

10 hours pass by…

“bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.. bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”

That was my cell vibration … I don’t usually keep it ringing :)

“Haan kithey hai? Ok, comeover to my place, we’ll leave from here”

12 hours gone… Pursuing the school authorities is really a tough task. I and tarun are at a school near to my place while Suneet is at some other school. I’m trying to get some lifetime shots with teacher Tarun Gupta teaching the students C.A.T... cat.. B.A.T…. bat… and ending the class with.. “eh tussi kall yaad karke ana, kall sunanga tuhade ton”….. Wonder if the students really learned their lesson to blah it out to their new teacher the next day :)

14 hours… We’re back at my place, I’m a little disappointed with the clips I shot. Nuthin Awesome. But the best was still on its way in Suneet’s camera. And that’s what changed the look of our movie. :)

“Roz nahakar baal banakar hasskar padhne jaatey hain… aise baalak hi jagg me achey bachey kehlatey hain”

16 hours… Together in D-Block with lappy, showing some new participants the clips we’d shot and thinking about WHAT NEXT…

16 and a half hours… Swati along with her frnds is being made to do Cat Walk in the corridors. She’s gonna be a star soon :) Just practicing? Nah… that’s the next sequence of the movie.

18 hours… The sun is shining and the café is the best place for us to shoot. Of course the girl won’t be studying all the time.

19 hours.. Amongst the shadows of the lawns. Congratulate the girl, she just Got Scholarship :)

20 hours… will whole of the movie go with just one dress.. nah, the lead actress is made to change the dress for one last 2 mins shot. I say it last coz that’s the last where she is seen. Not the last shot of the movie. The best is still to come :)

22hours.. at my place again, all jumping and exited… for the Movie? Nah… it was the jassi nite I guess. Jaldi karo Jaldi karo…

Haan bhai kar rahe hain jaldi, chaye paani to piyo.. My mom is confused as to what are 14 ppl doing all of a sudden at her place. “Deepi is that some party?”

Nah.. That was the last shot of the movie and we’re back to college enjoying the Nite…

23 hours…. Thanks to tarun for his amazing dialogues and Archie for her voice she lent to the movie :)

“Waqt bhi hath me rakhi ret ki tarah kaise nikal jata hai pata hi nahi chalta”

Ok, we had soft copy of everything now… BUT….

“Mere dost picture abhi khatam nahi hui hai”

25 hours… The nite is bakwas .. I wanna get outaa here…. Movie banana hai yar… and Tarun has his consoling words.. “ajj ratti asin mere ghar a rahe haan.. saari rat baith ke movie banavange”

28hours… Tarun chah banayin yar…

28 hours 15 mins… mainu adhey ghante takk utha deyin…

28 hours 30 mins… uth.. ikk dialog reh gaya..

28 hours 45 mins… yar gaaney select kar lao…

29 hours… “yar oh clip shoot tan kittio si ^%@^#%^ kithey reh gayi”

29 hours… “ok see this… looking good”

30 hours… “hunn bass do songs add karne ne”

30 hours 15 mins… haan this song will look good

30 hours 30 mins… its looking good :)

30 hours 45 mins ….. Climax…. Hey where did u save the movie? Ethey hi si yar…

31 hours…. (chorus) SHIT!!!!!

“At least we should’ve saved the copy of the movie… How could we save a blank file over the made up movie”

“Don’t worry I’ll do that again I know where is it to be placed”

“Yes, let Suneet do it, he knows it and we are still amateurs at editing”

“Mummyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy”

32 hours…. Yawns…. Its coming out good…. Tarun chah banayin yar…. “Maii niii.. appey bana lai”

33 hours… Sleepi Deepi…

34 hours… Suneet Sleeping…

36 hours… Traun and Suneet Sleeping…

37 hours.. Deepi wakes up, Oye utho Saaleyon… kamm karna hai…..

38 hours… F**K… where’s the first dialog of the movie… Oops.. I guess I overwrote it yesterday… God! First thing in morning, call up Archana that she has to come to college early morning to record the (1 min) dialogue.

40 hours… Recording on “Maa meri ki kokh me ek bar aayi thi khushbu…. “

41 hours… Ok im going to buy the CD’s and DVD’s

41 hours 15 mins.. here’re the CD’s and plz add the xyz pic in end…. “Deepi hale time nahi hai”

41 hours 30 mins.. ok lets c the final one now…

41 hours 37 mins… write the CD…

42 hours.. Whom do we need to make the submission… ok…

42 hours 1 min… I’m going home to sleep… cu guys in afternoon..

50 Now comes the role of Vidya Balan junior…. Junior coz the senior has to come as this blog ends…

Yippieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee……………. WE WON THE SHORT MOIVIE COMPETITION!!!!!

Ok we have to give a copy of the movie to the schools, that’s utmost important (has not been done till date), we need to edit the movie a bit before that (just did it last month)

Ok, now Vidya Balan has to be invited…

The movie was sent as university entry to UNFPA-Populations Fund for a contest, and the same has been shortlisted for the final round to be held in Mumbai. Pray that you people see another blog entitled the "Mumbai Victory"

“Itni Shiddat se maine tumhy paany ki koshish ki hai, K har Zarhe nay tumse milane ki saazish ki hai.."

Mumbai... I'll c u soon :)

Delightful Delhi

By now I’ve probably/possibly become accustomed to the 9-12 schedule… Oh no that isn’t a movie show timing, that accounts to 9am-12am schedule.. Here’s how it goes.. Trust me, its very interesting.

The day begins at 9 am…. Oh what a wonderful morning… “I’m so sleepy :(“

Get ready for ‘office’… I’m gonna wear best of my apparels today… “God! Am I loosing weight?”

Breakfast… I’m ready to break the fast…. “But am I ready to move out?”

Finally out at 9:30-10…. Within the tolerance limit… “I’m late for the office… Bhaagoooo!!!”

Walking down the lane to the bus stop where my luxury car picks me up… “Is that the Blueline 623 or 611, ummm… its filled to saturation:(“

Get into the bus…. I love the Air conditioned apartment…. “I wish the guy standing next to me would’ve applied some cologne in his smelly armpits.”

Office Office… My heaven, my dream place, by shakti my bhagti, my sanskriti my aakriti, my treasure my pleasure, my sun my moon my movie my cartoon.. “Finallly, Delhi has taught me how to blah blah”

Tea at 11, lunch at 1, tea at 3, snacks at 5…. My cuisines... “Naahhh I was Wrong, I Haven't lost weight"

Work at office… They say Work is God! Its so true… “Did I hear someone say ‘Deepinder mujhe yeh do Documents aaj Sham takk chahiye!!!’.. ‘Ma’am kall de du?’… ‘AAJ SHAM TAKK’…. ‘Yess ma’am’”

Phew! Documents made….. I’m being praised and appraised :)…. “Ok I hear again, 'Tune subha se kiya kya hai’… ‘Kuch nahi sir.. I’M TOTALLY VEHLA!’”

7 p.m. Day is finally Over…. I’m waiting for my luxury car again… “Is that the 623 or 611, ummm… its filled to brim again:(“

Get into the bus…. I love the Air conditioned apartment…. “God doesn't listen to me... The guy standing next to me hasn't yet applied any cologne in his smelly armpits.”

Reach Home… I have one hour to take a nap before dinner…. “Tring Tring! Haan yar.. aur suna kya haal hai” I had to sleep right?

Dinner…. Hungry Kya?...“Mouth Water Water!! Sluurrrrrppppp” :)

Chat at 10 sleep at 1 the sun rises with a BIG Smile :)

Next day again is very interesting…

The day begins at 9 am…. Oh what a wonderful morning… “I’m so sleepy :(“

Get ready for ‘office’… I’m gonna wear best of my apparels today… “God! Am I loosing weight?”

Breakfast… I’m ready to break the fast…. “But am I ready to move out?”

Finally out at 9:30-10…. Within the tolerance limit… “I’m late for the office… Bhaagoooo!!!”

Walking down the lane to the bus stop where my luxury car picks me up… “Is that the Blueline 623 or 611, ummm… its filled to brim :(“

Get into the bus…. I love the Air conditioned apartment…. “I wish the guy standing next to me would’ve applied some cologne in his smelly armpits.”

Office Office… My heaven, my dream place, by shakti my bhagti, my sanskriti my aakriti, my treasure my pleasure, my sun my moon my movie my cartoon.. “Finallly, Delhi has taught me how to blah blah”

Tea at 11, lunch at 1, tea at 3, snacks at 5…. My cuisines... “Wonder How I lost 4 kgs”

Work at office… They say Work is God! Its so true… “Did I hear someone say ‘Deepinder mujhe yeh do Documents aaj Sham takk chahiye!!!’.. ‘Ma’am kall de du?’… ‘AAJ SHAM TAKK’…. ‘Yess ma’am’”

Phew! Documents made….. I’m being praised and appraised :)…. “Ok I hear again,’Tune subha se kiya kya hai’… ‘Kuch nahi sir.. I’M TOTALLY VEHLA!’”

7 p.m. Day is finally Over…. I’m waiting for my luxury car again… “Is that the 623 or 611, ummm… its filled to brim :(“

Get into the bus…. I love the Air conditioned apartment…. “I wish the guy standing next to me would’ve applied some cologne in his smelly armpits.”

Reach Home… I have one hour to take a sleep…. “Tring Tring! Haan yar.. aur suna kya haal hai” I had to sleep right?

Dinner…. Hungry Kya?...“Mouth Water Water!! Sluurrrrrppppp” :)

Chat to 10 sleep at 1 the next day again is very interesting…

The day begins at 9 am…. Oh what a wonderful morning… “I’m so sleepy :(“

Get ready for ‘office’… I’m gonna wear best of my apparels today… “God! Am I loosing weight?”

Breakfast… I’m ready to break the fast…. “But am I ready to move out?”

Finally out at 9:30-10…. Within the tolerance limit… “I’m late for the office… Bhaagoooo!!!”

Walking down the lane to the bus stop where my luxury car picks me up… “Is that the Blueline 623 or 611, ummm… its filled to brim :(“

Get into the bus…. I love the Air conditioned apartment…. “I wish the guy standing next to me would’ve applied some cologne in his smelly armpits.”

Office Office… My heaven, my dream place, by shakti my bhagti, my sanskriti my aakriti, my treasure my pleasure, my sun my moon my movie my cartoon.. “Finallly, Delhi has taught me how to blah blah”

Tea at 11, lunch at 1, tea at 3, snacks at 5…. My cuisines... “Wonder How I lost 4 kgs”

Work at office… They say Work is God! Its so true… “Did I hear someone say ‘Deepinder mujhe yeh do Documents aaj Sham takk chahiye!!!’.. ‘Ma’am kall de du?’… ‘AAJ SHAM TAKK’…. ‘Yess ma’am’”

Phew! Documents made….. I’m being praised and appraised :)…. “Ok I hear again,’Tune subha se kiya kya hai’… ‘Kuch nahi sir.. I’M TOTALLY VEHLA!’”

7 p.m. Day is finally Over…. I’m waiting for my luxury car again… “Is that the 623 or 611, ummm… its filled to brim :(“

Get into the bus…. I love the Air conditioned apartment…. “I wish the guy standing next to me would’ve applied some cologne in his smelly armpits.”

Reach Home… I have one hour to take a sleep…. “Tring Tring! Haan yar.. aur suna kya haal hai” I had to sleep right?

Dinner…. Hungry Kya?...“Mouth Water Water!! Sluurrrrrppppp” :)

Chat to 10 sleep at 1 the next day again is very interesting…

The day begins at 9 am…. Oh what a wonderful morning… “I’m so sleepy :(“

Get ready for ‘office’… I’m gonna wear best of my apparels today… “God! Am I loosing weight?”

Breakfast… I’m ready to break the fast…. “But am I ready to move out?”

Finally out at 9:30-10…. Within the tolerance limit… “I’m late for the office… Bhaagoooo!!!”

Walking down the lane to the bus stop where my luxury car picks me up… “Is that the Blueline 623 or 611, ummm… its filled to brim :(“

Get into the bus…. I love the Air conditioned apartment…. “I wish the guy standing next to me would’ve applied some cologne in his smelly armpits.”

Office Office… My heaven, my dream place, by shakti my bhagti, my sanskriti my aakriti, my treasure my pleasure, my sun my moon my movie my cartoon.. “Finallly, Delhi has taught me how to blah blah”

Tea at 11, lunch at 1, tea at 3, snacks at 5…. My cuisines... “Wonder How I lost 4 kgs”

Work at office… They say Work is God! Its so true… “Did I hear someone say ‘Deepinder mujhe yeh do Documents aaj Sham takk chahiye!!!’.. ‘Ma’am kall de du?’… ‘AAJ SHAM TAKK’…. ‘Yess ma’am’”

Phew! Documents made….. I’m being praised and appraised :)…. “Ok I hear again,’Tune subha se kiya kya hai’… ‘Kuch nahi sir.. I’M TOTALLY VEHLA!’”

7 p.m. Day is finally Over…. I’m waiting for my luxury car again… “Is that the 623 or 611, ummm… its filled to brim :(“

Get into the bus…. I love the Air conditioned apartment…. “I wish the guy standing next to me would’ve applied some cologne in his smelly armpits.”

Reach Home… I have one hour to take a sleep…. “Tring Tring! Haan yar.. aur suna kya haal hai” I had to sleep right?

Dinner…. Hungry Kya?...“Mouth Water Water!! Sluurrrrrppppp” :)

Chat to 10 sleep at 1 the next day again is very interesting…

The day begins at 9 am…. Oh what a wonderful morning… “I’m so sleepy :(“

Get ready for ‘office’… I’m gonna wear best of my apparels today… “God! Am I loosing weight?”

Breakfast… I’m ready to break the fast…. “But am I ready to move out?”

Finally out at 9:30-10…. Within the tolerance limit… “I’m late for the office… Bhaagoooo!!!”

Walking down the lane to the bus stop where my luxury car picks me up… “Is that the Blueline 623 or 611, ummm… its filled to brim :(“

Get into the bus…. I love the Air conditioned apartment…. “I wish the guy standing next to me would’ve applied some cologne in his smelly armpits.”

Office Office… My heaven, my dream place, by shakti my bhagti, my sanskriti my aakriti, my treasure my pleasure, my sun my moon my movie my cartoon.. “Finallly, Delhi has taught me how to blah blah”

Tea at 11, lunch at 1, tea at 3, snacks at 5…. My cuisines... “Wonder How I lost 4 kgs”

Work at office… They say Work is God! Its so true… “Did I hear someone say ‘Deepinder mujhe yeh do Documents aaj Sham takk chahiye!!!’.. ‘Ma’am kall de du?’… ‘AAJ SHAM TAKK’…. ‘Yess ma’am’”

Phew! Documents made….. I’m being praised and appraised :)…. “Ok I hear again,’Tune subha se kiya kya hai’… ‘Kuch nahi sir.. I’M TOTALLY VEHLA!’”

7 p.m. Day is finally Over…. I’m waiting for my luxury car again… “Is that the 623 or 611, ummm… its filled to brim :(“

Get into the bus…. I love the Air conditioned apartment…. “I wish the guy standing next to me would’ve applied some cologne in his smelly armpits.”

Reach Home… I have one hour to take a sleep…. “Tring Tring! Haan yar.. aur suna kya haal hai” I had to sleep right?

Dinner…. Hungry Kya?...“Mouth Water Water!! Sluurrrrrppppp” :)

Chat to 10 sleep at 1 the next day again is very interesting…

The day begins at 9 am…. Oh what a wonderful morning… “I’m so sleepy :(“

Get ready for ‘office’… I’m gonna wear best of my apparels today… “God! Am I loosing weight?”

Breakfast… I’m ready to break the fast…. “But am I ready to move out?”

Finally out at 9:30-10…. Within the tolerance limit… “I’m late for the office… Bhaagoooo!!!”

Walking down the lane to the bus stop where my luxury car picks me up… “Is that the Blueline 623 or 611, ummm… its filled to brim :(“

Get into the bus…. I love the Air conditioned apartment…. “I wish the guy standing next to me would’ve applied some cologne in his smelly armpits.”

Office Office… My heaven, my dream place, by shakti my bhagti, my sanskriti my aakriti, my treasure my pleasure, my sun my moon my movie my cartoon.. “Finallly, Delhi has taught me how to blah blah”

Tea at 11, lunch at 1, tea at 3, snacks at 5…. My cuisines... “Wonder How I lost 4 kgs”

Work at office… They say Work is God! Its so true… “Did I hear someone say ‘Deepinder mujhe yeh do Documents aaj Sham takk chahiye!!!’.. ‘Ma’am kall de du?’… ‘AAJ SHAM TAKK’…. ‘Yess ma’am’”

Phew! Documents made….. I’m being praised and appraised :)…. “Ok I hear again,’Tune subha se kiya kya hai’… ‘Kuch nahi sir.. I’M TOTALLY VEHLA!’”

7 p.m. Day is finally Over…. I’m waiting for my luxury car again… “Is that the 623 or 611, ummm… its filled to brim :(“

Get into the bus…. I love the Air conditioned apartment…. “I wish the guy standing next to me would’ve applied some cologne in his smelly armpits.”

Reach Home… I have one hour to take a sleep…. “Tring Tring! Haan yar.. aur suna kya haal hai” I had to sleep right?

Dinner…. Hungry Kya?...“Mouth Water Water!! Sluurrrrrppppp” :)

Ok Sorry Guys…. Those were My Interesting Weekdays.. Will tell you about the Weekends and More Interesting Happening in More Posts to Come … Keep Reading….. “Did I Loose Some of My readers” :(

Jodha-Akbar… A Love Story?

Opening with a plethora of (perhaps made up) controversies the movie has finally released this Friday, and a movie buff like this blogger couldn’t miss it on any cost. So the blogger was up and about at 9:30 am on Sunday.

So early? Why?

Well that’s where I miss Patiala… Patiala, where this movie could cost me 40 bucks, would cost me a hundred and fifty bucks here in Delhi. And the Morning show 100 rupees. So see (this kanjus) saved whole 50 bucks :)

About the movie...

This beautiful, enchanting, amazing eternal Love Story began with a war between Hemu and Shehzada Akbar …

Oops! Did you made a mistake???…

Let’s forget it for now and move on.

Ok now the astounding, hilarious, rib tickling comedy moved on with the unforgettable and impressive dialogues…

Umm.. You made a mistake again???

Oh No! Ok let me be serious now... I was completely drowned in the ever enthralling melodious tunes of A.R. Rehman…

I agree... The person is God of Music :)

Well maybe, but keep it aside for now and let’s move on to enjoy the charismatic K soap…

K soap??? I thought it was an A soap…

Well yeah... the only thing which could define it as an A soap was that the villains and the vamps kept on changing and also the fact that the dialogues were indeed unforgettable. Confused? Here go through this one… Make sure u read it only once.

“Bano Bashir Begum (that’s one name.. sounds like chewing huh?) hindustan-e-malika ko mukhtavir ki inayat se apki khairiyat ki tazeem ko taveer ki tasveer se titanic karti hain”

Ok now... Without going back, just recall what the dialog was….

Hey did u say Chewing Hindistan Titanic?

And actually what the person wanted to say was “Hi! Malika sys hru?”

God! These people could’ve never ever used yahoo messenger!

Yeah.. and you need hell lot of patience to listen to the dialoges which seem to start in morning and end in evening, without lunch break.

Gulp! I'm hungry no more. Anything else?

I think I’ve said it all by now. Go Watch the Movie :) :)

Wait a minute.. what do you say about Hrithik and Aishwarya…

Ummmm…. Hrithik is Happening ( I guess thats the only reasons why the girls liked the movie) but not fit for the role. He’s still in his DHOOM2 mode as he walks into the warfare with a ‘cool dude’ style. And Aishwarya.. same as ever.. beautiful but married ;)

And their love chemistry?

“Jodha Akbar… ek aisi prem kahani jise itihas ke panno me itni mahattavta nahi mili jaisi ki heer-ranjha jaisi prem kahaniyon ko mili. Lekin Jodha Akbar ki yeh prem kahani … bla bla bla bla hai… "

That was the only cumulating sentence which concluded Jodha Akbar as a LOVE STORY…

The Rating for the movie…

Is hindustane ala ki chashm-e-chirag vakalif ki inayat ko hum delhi-e-patiala-e-reviewer dhai se jyada taarey nahi de sakte. Yeh humari shaan ki khilaf hai”

Ok u can stop re-reading.

It meant Rating=2.5/5

Delhi ‘o’ Delhi

Let me introduce myself again in case you’ve forgotten any bit of me. I’m the same old fat guy with no money who had been traumatizing you with his poems in the middle of night and his blogs every new moon. Remember me? Yah yah.. I know that you do. Its just that you’re faking a displeasure of meeting me again after so long. Ok.. “Sorry Bola na maine”. I’ll ‘Try’ to be a bit regular from now.

And by the way…. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Gurpurab, Happy Lohri :D

Ok baba Sorry again… :)

Life’s changed. Life’s being learned. I recall the day I left my homeland following a tune which came from a distance. I chased it blindly in hunt of the blissful land where it came from. The thoughts rushing through my mind admonished me with just three words. “Nothing Like Home” But, with no other options, and no other way to make a livelihood and to learn life, I ended up in this place called Delhi.

Delhi ‘o‘ Delhi, it’s a dish made up of ingredients which the best of cooks can’t chew over with a spoonful of Delhi. With every spoon you come across a new flavor, 100 Rs for two scoops of ice cream, and then being consoled with the gift from Englishmen “Sorry Sir!”, jam-packed local buses which indeed need a special mention, the traffic jams, and of course the homesick Deepi. I’ll take a pleasure to explain each one of them.

Ok so Patialvi’s how much will you pay for an ice cream in a cup, two scoops of it. Ok given that the ice cream is branded, and the hygiene level is the best you can expect in Delhi. And Of course, the shop is in a mall in Gurgaon. 50 Rs? 100 Rs? Hmm a lil close, but still you’re lazy to count a bit more. It was my first weekend here when I went to a mall in Gurgaon with one of my friends. Nothing to do, tickling the taste buds with the ice cream flavor sounded a good idea. So there we were tasting every flavour and finally choosing a mixture of Mango and Chocolate Fudge. The rate list said 50 Rs. Ok. The sweetdish was put into the cup and it was the turn to hand over the money now. A hundred rupee note makes it way out of my pocket into the hands of the recipient and my hands wait for 50 Rs being given back. But the situation was different. Instead of my hands, my ears heard the worst of words it’s ever done.

“Its Hundred and One Rupees Sir”

“Huh?”

“Yes Sir, its fifty rupees per scoop” and he ends it with, “I’m sorry sir”

Lesson 1 Complete.

Lesson 2

This is a good one for me. Getting up all by myself in the morning. Getting ready(that was always by myself.. hope that keeps shut the filthy minds). Making my bed before I sleep and after I wake up. Etc. etc. etc. Don’t find the need to exaggerate the things. You know I’m against self praising :)

Lesson 3

The Delhi Locals. Now that brings out my daily schedule. DTC local in morning at 9:15. Reaching the first stop. Then another local, or a preferable 15 mins of walk to office. The lifeline of Delhi, the delhi locals, is a mess.!!!! I’ll get into Punjabi mode here.

Bande te banda chadheya hoiya hai.. kisi di taaki nahi kisi di baari kharki, har dooji kudi laggey meri girlfriend wargi.

Hale tan sardiyan ne, garmiyan vich hal hor maarhey hone ne. When I’ll be forced to smell the perspiration from the armpits of the riders clinging to the rod which goes overhead. And I pity the ones who’ll smell mine ;)

The best thing about Delhi locals are its conductors. Just like a waiter speaks out the menu in a dhaba, these conductors have a ready to eat dish of the bus stops. They speak out the names in one go, kisi ko samajh aye ya na aye vo unki tension. They’ve done their job! Another thing worth mentioning is their microscopic, radioscopic, atomoscopic, bhoruscopic eyes. In a jampacked bus, at every 10 seconds they can be heard saying…

“Chalo Chalo aagey chalo.. bohat jagah hai abhi…”

Bhai kahan aagey jayein, yahan hath hilane ki jagah nahi…

But the guy actually sees it.. “arey chalo na bohat jagah hai.. badhtey raho aagey”..

Another thing before it slips out. There are two conductors, one in front, other at back. Aagey vala says Peechey chalo bohat jagah hai.. and peechey vala says aagey chalo bohat jagah khali hai

Anyhow, that’s all from my boring end. Cya later soon with more of lessons after I shift to a PG next month.. Tata