My tryst with orkut.com

Lately we were having a ‘Time Management’ session in our CL classes by one of the sexy psychologists of Punjabi Univ. She was asking about various activities that we do in our whole day. Students had been giving some of the traditional answers like ‘Swimming’, ‘Eating’, ‘Reading’, ‘Writing’, and all of a sudden ma’am turned to me and asked the same question. Without a second thought, I shot out, ‘Orkutting’. I still remember the sweet wide smile, that ma’am gave, when she heard me say that. Might be she was not expecting any of such answers, but I’m sure most of the readers won’t have any doubts over me suggesting this activity…

‘Orkut’ has, by far, become one of the most preached religions of the present generations. The post I’m writing lists down the various changes and the teaching that Orkut has given us.

• There were days when mailbox used to be filled with most of the junk mails, but now, Ahan! That junk has been given the name of ‘scraps’. Hindi me bole to ‘kabarh’, te Punjabi vich kahiye tan ‘raddi’.
• When the olden times saw small favors like, “Hey Could you please deposit some money in my account”, or “Could u please lend me a pencil/pen”, the ‘Orkutters’ have an extremely different demand, “Can you please Check my Scraps, It has been four hours since I checked them”, and sometimes the accent of the favour varies somewhat like, “Oye! Scraps Check Karke Dassin.”
• The otherwise immeasurable, term called ‘being busy’ can now be measured to precision. The measure of how busy, or rather how ‘vehla’ a person is directly reflected by the ‘Scrap Count.’
• The idea of how famous a person is can be had from the ratio of the number of friends he has, by the number of fans, plus the number of testimonials. So renown= Friends/Fans + Testimonails.
• Who says unemployment is still the greatest concern for India? People have now got a great job, depending on their skills and efficiency. For instance, ‘safai karamchari to clean up the scrapbook’, ‘photographers to keep their album updated’, ‘writers to fill their profile info in a highly impressive manner’, ‘caption contestants, to change their display captions and pics weekly, or maybe every day’, ‘Hackers, to control certain accounts’, ‘Aashiqs, to put up handsome pics and attract gals’, ‘Gals, to discuss cool guys and favorite K-Soaps.’
• Communities have been redefined. People who considered their lives to be too hectic coz of certain social communities they were a part of, are now a member of hundreds of communities, and the number is still growing.
• Gone are the days when we used to have a separate diary to remember the birthdays of near and dear one’s. Orkut Zindabad!
• Each person on orkut knows when the other person is ill, has exams, went somewhere, came back, bought something, got a gift, won a lottery and so on and on and on.
• The Computer Maestro’s in the colleges are just left to find out ways to access 'orkut.com' from the campus. And, as a ‘jugad’ is found out, it’s gonna be the hottest news of the day.

Log kehte hain k Pyar me kuch kuch hota hai, lekin yahan to baithey baithey kuch kuch ho jata hai jab

“Scrap ki chingariyan chalakti hain,

Tann me jwala bharakti hai,

Bhool kar koi to ek scrap kar do mujhe,

abb to orkut hi meri bhakti hai….”